I was on the fast-track to a career in higher education as a choral director and music professor when all of a sudden I was feeling lost, confused, and verrrrry disconnected from my love for music. I became so focused on external validation and cues of my personal success that I had completely forgotten my “why,” and I couldn’t distinguish my voice from other external voices in my head. Looking back now, I can see how “out of alignment” I was—but what does that actually mean?
I was living a life that was not true to what my soul desires.
I invested countless hours, days, and years into my education to become a music professor, but I had not built a relationship with my sister or biological mom.
I traveled around Europe as a chorister, but I had never been exposed to Filipino food & culture.
I poured my heart and soul into the choirs I directed, but I never had time to sing or make music for enjoyment.
I prided myself in being one of the few women of color in my doctoral program, but I was ignoring all the ways that I had been programmed to uphold systems of white supremacy and oppression.
So, I surrendered…
I began to release my fists around my dreams and invited more curiosity & magic into my perspectives.
I opened myself up to ancestral connection and spiritual guidance.
I was gentle with myself as I clumsily expressed my vulnerable truths for the first time:
🌱 to spend more time getting to know my biological families 🌱 to move closer to our family in the Midwest 🌱 to take a chance on my own artistry and creativity 🌱 to build strong relationships with my family, ancestors, and guides 🌱 to practice root healing and start building our family
The more that I surrendered…
The more I began to live a life that was more “in alignment” with my truths, values, and soul’s desires. I realized that because I had spent the last decade focusing all of my energy on my education and career, I was being called towards a new chapter that focused on my family.
I felt my creativity, sexuality, and intuition turn back on and my relationship with my body became more nurturing and loving. This led to my transition out of higher education as a music professor, the birth of my daughter in November 2022, and my full-time commitment to my artistry and creativity.
So, by August 2023, I had co-created the Soft Power Choir with and n4than fratzke, and launched my concept of the “Singing Revolution 2.0”.
I feel this deep sense in my body that I have been called to help initiate another singing revolution. This singing revolution, however, is to liberate our voices for the purpose of self-regulation and co-regulation, so that we can put into practice non-violent communication, community care, and ethical world building.
Read more here
So in order to share the medicine and the [soft] power of communal singing, I have teamed with n4than fratzke and John-Micah Braswell, in collaboration with Soft Power to dream, vision, and co-create a spiritually-guided musical experience called—Surrender.
Held at the historic First Unitarian Church of Los Angeles, this first-of-its-kind event reimagines the traditional choir performance, inspiring transformation through voice and sound. Surrender is a live activation of our shared vision to shift how we experience and participate in choral music. This is not a religious event, but a space for all—regardless of belief—to deepen connection with the spirit of life that unites us all.
Read more about our story on our GoFundMe.
Los Angeles ✨ join the community choir & come sing with us!!
All are welcome to join the community choir regardless of experience or ability to read Westernized notated music. We will be sharing and singing a wide range of music from popular music cultures to traditional choral music. We will even be premiering two original songs written by n4than fratzke & Kiernan Steiner and arranged by John-Micah Braswell.
Access to virtual rehearsals and practice tracks will be made available with completed donation and registration to join the choir.
Donation-based tickets are now available, with 3 event experiences to choose from:
If you are unable to participate in the event, but would love to support our vision to innovate the choral tradition, please donate to our GoFundMe.
Dr. Kiki is the founder of The Voice Doula and co-founder of Soft Power, where she provides nervous system-informed vocal and creativity coaching. Since earning their doctorate in choral music in 2021 with a focus on decolonizing choral music education, Kiki not only brings expertise in the institution of choirs, but also brings years of experience in directing choirs of all ages and backgrounds in schools, churches, as well as virtually from a decolonized and trauma-informed lens.